The Retro Blog

Sometimes writing a classic that’s required reading in thousands of schools just isn’t enough to pay the bills. Here’s science fiction author Ray Bradbury acting as Big Brother to a bunch of folks in the future. At least the ad is funny.

[via neatorama]

A few weeks ago I had a discussion with my friends in which I set forth plans that when we’re ancient we’re going to get a big one story house with rattan furniture and live exactly like The Golden Girls. We soon began determining our Golden Girl counterparts (I’m the Bea Arthur) and then we had a long discussion in which we attempted to determine whether or not Estelle Getty was still alive. Then Estelle Getty did actually die a couple days later. I feel like I’m to blame. Sorry Estelle. You were always my favorite.

Anyway, it got me wondering what the feisty sitcom ladies were doing way back when. Let’s have a look at the Golden Girls when they were young.

Betty White

Here’s a commercial for Fantastik Disinfectant cleaner featuring a young Betty White. What’s weird is that her voice is exactly the same. When they finally cut to her it didn’t immediately connect that it was her because I was almost expecting that she’d look exactly the same.

Bea Arthur

It’s not easy to find young Bea Arthur clips. She spent most of her younger days on Broadway and didn’t make a big splash in the world of film until she starred in Mame with Lucille Ball in 1974. Reportedly a wretched excuse for a film, Arthur regrets appearing in it to this day. Here’s the pair singing “Bosom Buddies”

Rue McClanahan

Rue played Blanche on The Golden Girls. She’s also known as “the slutty one.” This was perhaps not such a stretch for Ms. McClanahan. Here the Mystery Science Theater 3000 crew provides commentary to an early striptease by Rue. No real nudity so not entirely NSFW, but a little risque. I think your boss will probably be more disturbed by the fact that you’re watching a Golden Girl strip than by the presence of side boob.

Estelle Getty

Estelle played Sophia, Bea Arthur’s mother on the show. Funny thing is she was actually a year younger than Arthur. Getty got her start late in show business. Like Arthur she dwelled on Broadway for a while until starting to get a few minor film roles in the late 70’s. Due to the lack of any good young Estelle footage, I leave you with this minor youtube sensation, Estelle Getty’s senior citizen workout video, remix edition.

If I remember correctly, the recipe for Kool-Aid is one packet Kool-Aid, one quart water, and 27 cups of sugar. That’s why it makes me happy to know that in the 50’s it was considered “pure and good” for kids by Parents Magazine. As a child of the 80’s, though, the most striking thing about this commercial is that the animated Kool-Aid man is so calm and pleasant. I almost didn’t recognize him without a needlessly destroyed brick wall behind him.

You know how old Warner Brothers cartoons always have really pretty, well designed title cards? Well this site has carefully catalogued a great number of them for us to admire. They’re categorized by year: 1929 to 1964.

I’m always keeping my eyes open for inexpensive ways to go retro, so this atomic style clock made from easily found items jumped out at me. Very cute! [via craft]

Flying today is pretty miserable. Rude passengers treat the cabin like their living room. You have to wait for two hours to get patted down by an unfriendly security guard. On a flight home from Japan I was randomly selected to get a thorough going over at the security gate. The guard was the tallest, manliest Japanese woman I’ve ever seen. My limited grasp of the language informs me that when she discovered my cookie stash in my bag she told me they were going to make me fat. I do not enjoy flying.

So what was flying like in the 60’s? This site has answers. There’s the obvious things - flight attendants wore skimpy skirts to please passengers who were predominately male business men. Other things are more interesting. Apparently it was not uncommon for airports to have a vending machine selling life insurance just in case the plane crashed. Comforting. Prices were regulated and expensive, so the only way for airlines to compete was to provide the best service. This included food and drinks on every flight (no matter how short), and the ability to smoke everywhere on the plane. Mmmmm recycled toxins. And the security? Nonexistent. 

Here’s a little tour from 1960 of the first 747:

The Hep Stars were a Swedish pop group formed in 1963. Like a lot of bands they figured out that you have to sing in English to get international attention. Here they are performing “Sunny Girl”. The song sounds perfectly pleasant and pop chart friendly, but if you pay attention to the lyrics you realize that most of them are totally ridiculous. Seems the guys didn’t quite grasp the English language as well as they thought they did. My favorite line is “She’s domestic, she is property”.

The most famous member of the Hep Stars was Benny Andersson, who went on to become one of the two B’s in ABBA.

Recently the Muppets have been making entertaining videos for youtube. (Warning: clicking on the first link will result in several hours of the phrase ‘bork bork bork bork’ circulating through your head). They’re so much fun, you might want a Muppet of your own. That’s what Ideal Toys figured way back in the 60’s. Here’s a rather disturbing ad in which the Kermit puppet, who I always assumed to be the kindest, gentlest of the bunch, threatens to breaks your arms and legs.

“Mars and Beyond” is a 1957 episode of “Disneyland” the tv series in which the folks at Disneyland contemplate life on other planets and man’s quest for understanding of the world around him. I like to think of it as Mickey Mouse’s 2001: A Space Odyssey. The episode is introduced by Walt himself with his personal pal Garco the robot. It goes on to illustrate developments in astronomy over time. It brings to life the stories of science fiction writers like H. G. Wells and Edgar Rice Burroughs. It presents the Big Bang theory, which surprises me because I think if Disney attempted this today they’d have a bunch of creationists on their back. 

The art is fabulous, especially during the first two sections. It’s all of the great animation you expect from Disney but with character and layout design like nothing else I’ve seen from them. The bizarre creatures sort of remind me of colorful versions of the characters in Don Hertzfeldt’s The Meaning of Life – very un-Disney. Hertzfeldt himself must have an affection for the film. He brought it on tour with him as part of his annual Animation Show in 2003.

Here’s part 1 of 6:

Part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6.

A strangely addictive and entertaining blog called Cake Wrecks has been gaining a lot of notice on the internet. It celebrates cake designers that should perhaps be seeking employment in other fields as well as skillful cakes made to look like things that should have never been set in icing. Here’s a cake I nominate for the second category, a rather inappropriately delicious celebration of mushroom clouds. It was made in 1946 to honor the “successful” atomic bomb tests in the Bikini Atoll. [via neatorama]